An essential part of the work at Aspire is understanding who the people we support are and what matters to them. Not just their needs, but their passions, goals, and desires.
That includes topics that don’t always get talked about as openly as they should: sexuality and relationships.
As part of Autism Acceptance Month, Aspire welcomed Amy Gravino for a conversation that explored these topics. As an autistic self-advocate, internationally recognized public speaker, and relationship coach, Amy brought both lived experience and professional insight into the room.
The people supported across Aspire are building relationships, exploring identity, and navigating adulthood. Showing up in those moments with understanding, compassion, and a willingness to learn is part of what person-centered support looks like.
Amy shared her own experiences navigating relationships and sexuality as a young adult, which led to the development of the Adult Autism and Sexuality Kit (AASK). Her work responds to a clear gap: much of the research and education around sexuality is not designed with autistic communication styles or experiences in mind. When that gap exists, stereotypes can reinforce the idea that this kind of support is not needed.
Through stakeholder interviews and the adaptation of existing curriculum, Amy’s approach centers on preparing people for real life. That includes understanding personal values, boundaries, consent, communication, expectations, and how factors like sensory experiences can shape relationships.
As Amy puts it, her goal for the AASK was “not teaching people how to have sex, but teaching people how to live life.”
So what does that look like in practice? It starts with recognizing autistic individuals as whole people with their own goals and desires, asking what they want, and supporting them in getting there.
It also means moving beyond assumptions and creating space for conversations that respect autonomy and communication styles. Amy called out something that can quietly show up in this field: “Infantilization, or treating people as if they are children in big bodies.” As she shared, that mindset can shut down conversations before they even start and limit someone’s ability to grow into their own autonomy.
In Amy’s words, “Sometimes the most powerful sentence you can say is ‘I don’t know.’”
That matters in this work. It creates space to listen, learn, and have more honest conversations.
When these conversations are approached in a consistent and collaborative way, they create a stronger foundation. Boundaries are modeled early, questions are welcomed, and individuals have the space to explore who they are. It becomes a balance of guidance and respect, without letting discomfort or fears get in the way of someone’s growth or autonomy.
That same balance shows up in sexuality education. It is about both safety and empowerment. Supporting someone means helping them stay safe while also making sure they understand their own body, choices, and rights. And it should never be rooted in shame, because sexuality and relationships are part of the human experience.
Amy’s closing message was simple and impactful: there is often more that connects us than separates us.
“The most valuable thing you bring to the people you serve is being a human being.”
Thank you to Amy for pushing this conversation forward and for sharing tools that strengthen person-centered support across Aspire.
